The End of the Affair by Graham Greene
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

And infinite stars if only I could give it. I am completely moved by Sarah's character and also completely in love with Sarah's perception of love and can feel almost everything happening in the novel as if it is happening with me. Her spirituality and faith and beliefs are tremendously beautiful. Graham's writing undoubtedly is powerful in moving, influencing and leaving a strong impact on its readers. A must read for 'The God' lovers, 'Love' lovers and 'Romantic' lovers.

Though, Bendrix's love appealed somewhat sympathetic to me. It was selfish and can easily turn into hate. Poignantly Bendrx chooses hate (too earthly) and is alive at the end of the novel, but Sarah chooses love (divine) and dies.

Though there is nothing in the book which can't be quoted or doesn't hold any significance but still following are my one of the favorite quotes:

"...the moment of absolute trust and absolute pleasure, the moment when it was impossible to quarrel because it was impossible to think."

"It's a strange thing to discover and to believe that you are loved, when you know that there is nothing in you for anybody but a parent or a God to love."
Now just imagine how miserably he craves for Sarah's love and he must be feeling after having it.

This one gives a shiver down my spine:
" Sometimes I get so tired of trying to convince him that I love him and shall love him forever. He pounces on my words like a barrister and twists them. I know he is afraid of that desert which would be around him if our love were to end, but he can’t realize that I feel exactly the same. What he says aloud, I say to myself silently and write it here. What can one build in the desert? Sometimes after a day when we have made love many times, I wonder whether it isn’t possible to come to an end of sex, and I know he is wondering too and is afraid of that point where the desert begins. What do we do in the desert if we lose each other? How does one go on living after that?"


"...had fallen asleep against my shoulder as so many times, in taxis...I sat still and let her be... The slowly growing pain in my upper arm where her weight lay was the greatest pleasure I had ever known."


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Might is Right!

Personal power to me is that special ability one can develop to free themselves from the culture around them, so they can choose where and how they place their energy in service to the world and themselves, and intentionally shaping the very culture they have freed their own selves from. It is a life-long journey requiring wisdom and the courage to explore dimensions of power that many around us don’t see and don’t know how to appreciate until we ourselves do. Our dominate culture doesn’t allow us to see beyond it but as they say ‘achievers never stop challenging themselves to accomplish their very best in every aspect of life’. And this is what sets them apart and defines who they are. Individual in a mass.Have you ever had the desire to create an even larger net worth? To establish deep and lasting relationships? To follow through on an idea for a project or vision? To take your career to the “next level” you always desired for?What’s stopping you? What’s holding you back?“You have an infinite amount of power that can drive you to your full potential.”So, what's keeping you from stepping into the most powerful and unstoppable destiny possible?
All you have to do is give yourself a reality check and own power which lies within you.
Let's dive deeper into the curious cave of personal power and trust. Owning your power is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling connections and achieving your potential. It’s like standing for your believe in your own self. You give your power away when you make someone outside of you more important than what you hold inside of you. You give away your power when you …Keep on doubting yourself, your abilities and capabilities. You over-empower others by looking for approval and validation, giving them the power to hurt you.Forget that you know what you're doing, and you are good at it.Have poor will power, self control and boundaries. Allow yourself to be intimidated by bluster and emotional assaults from other people.Don't honour and share your truth.Albert Ellis, a famous psychologist quoted "Reality is not so much what happens to us; rather, it is how we think about those events that create the reality we experience. In a very real sense, this means that we each create the reality in which we live."
Its upto us how we want to see the things, see the reality and owning our power means speaking our truth, honouring our sensitivity, and believing in ourself. Our life experience, education, personal relationships, and curiosity make us wise. Always believe in yourself and protect your personal power. We can do it by:



Learning to say "No" and mean it.Stand up for yourself and believe in yourself, no matter what.Stand on the courage of your convictions.Embrace the fact you have the right be treated respectfully by other people.Be detached by observing other people’s behaviour without attachment to the outcome. AndAsk for what you need and want. In the end it is “YOU” who matters.

Farewell to Lights

A flame lit in a dark corner. It lights up a soul. That soul burns, it feels the flame scathe it, and just as the burn heals the soul caught by your lips. Tenderly, your lips kiss the soul and it starts crackling and burns brighter. The soul can’t understand why something which hurts and burns you in ashes, feels so right. And as the soul burns bright crackling away inches from your lips, it sees you inhale the satisfaction with every puff. It sees you content… for the soul is to burn a little more and you, you keep bringing the soul to your lips. You are engulfed by a haze, is it so thick that you can’t sense the burning soul, killing itself with your every kiss.

And as you kiss it one last time, a bright spark holds your attention. But the soul, it has nothing left to give and you? You heartlessly, ride roughshod over the butt. Smother it till its last breathe. Thinking “Damn, I need another one!”

And then you pick another soul to burn, to crackle as it destroys itself to bring satisfaction to you… yes you!

Simply Plastics

Values, Principles, Transparency in one's Character, Simplicity, Naturality, Originality is now mere words to write and speak. Their meanings are lost somewhere with the passing years. According to many readers out there, I may be sounding old fashioned because am not discussing about the last night's DJ party or some celeb's recent break ups or hooks ups. This is what they want to see and hear and talk about. And there lies their priorities out of this whole world they would love to spend their time gossiping about someone else's life. They join their hands with some NGO because according to them, it sounds good in the society they don't even give a thought about something like "motive to help others." And they, who proudly run any NGO are for only because they can make profits out of it. They can make profits by using the name of those helpless, surviving each day of their lives fighting and suffering. These plastic skins for once do not even realize that world is something a lot more than showing off their air-conditioned cars and life  isn't about how many clubs you visited this week. They Fag or booze because they think it can impress the opposite sex. Imagine how low they can actually think and can do to themselves. Yes, these shallow thinkers are surviving among us. My message to these plastics is Go and for once try seeing yourself in a mirror unlike daily and try to get out of your fake and "wanna be" attire cause it will lead you to the darker side of this beautiful life. Go and make someone genuinely smile by doing something good. Do something, which will mark a positive change in a stranger's life. And you will be introduced to the word "HAPPINESS" in a universal and unfeigned sense.

My Worst Nightmare

What all I remember this morning was closing my eyes the other night while looking at the clock striking 2:30 in the morning. I was tired because of the amount of hard work I laid in lazing around. So what, if it does not require your stamina, but it does require your skills. One just can’t laze around while sitting idle. One has to watch T.V. or watch any movie in addition and lying on a couch in an exact manner which will give your body more than comfort. Enough with that, getting back to the night, my eyes were shutting down, slowly and slowly, the clock striking 2:35 and that is it. It all started like this. I found myself in a dark place where nobody was around. Sounds Kiddush but the place was exactly the way I am describing it without exaggerating even a bit of it. Cloudy dark place where it’s just me, calling out all the possible names I have ever known but only silence replied to me. Just then I heard a noise. Something was moving. I can hear something coming towards me, out of the dark woods (yes. These woods came out of nowhere).  I just turned around and waiting for it to show up. However, nothing came up and just the sound. Sound which was somewhat like crawling or moving. I was not at all interested in going and checking the thing out. Obviously, we are for sure not making a horror movie out here, in which I have to do something reckless and stupid like this to make the suspense worth watching.  So I decided to walk on and discover probably something else. Out then I saw some shadows. I moved towards them, can feel myself going close to them, or they were coming near to me.  They were kind of people all dressed up same in those black shimmery dresses and tough looks on their wired faces.  I tried talking to them but no answers. I moved more in the crowd asking all of them, one or the other questions. They were constant in giving me tough looks and no answers. Quite annoying it was. However, as I moved forth I realized that they are following me. Out of nervousness, I started walking briskly. They tried to match up my speed and continue following me. I slowly started running and when I looked back, I saw the mob with no replies and tough looks wearing wired black dress on a distance of somewhat 10mtrs away from me. It was apprehending and scary. I don’t know what I was thinking or feeling but yes not for a once I thought that what kind of shitty place is this or why am I here or any other logical questions like that and continued with my running job. A while after I gathered some guts and trying looking back once again they were still visible,  but I managed to leave them behind far behind and they are now shadows once again.
I stopped myself and trying to breathe my lungs. I started walking again. The way was not at all pleasant to my eyes. Dark woods and crawling creatures are definitely not, which is relish able to one’s eye sight. Suddenly, I heard the voice once again, this time it was with more force and turbulence and rattle. Yeah rattle, we all are aware about the irritating rattle sounds and the reptile which produces it. I could make that whatever the thing is, it’s coming closer. And wait, holy shoot!! It could be anything but why on earth it has to be a gigantic worm cum lizard with spooky angry eyes and poisonous pale green fusible stuck out tongue. I almost screamed my chords out, which unwontedly attracted that thing towards me. I started running towards a direction, I was completely unaware of. Its worst feeling one can ever resist and almost a worst sight one can ever see. Not worse than seeing your ex boy friend kissing his present girl friend, and you still have some soft corner left in there for that douche bag.  But, yeah almost close to that. So I was running and that creepy thing was following me making some of the weirdest sounds ever heard. I was scared, crying, screaming and feeling all kinds of not so good emotions at a time and yes, do not forget running. The place seems to be a never ending one. It was one blank black dark place, covered by grey clouds all over the sky and woods all over the land. It seems like no way out. And that thing with viciously was following me. We both were running and then he just caught me in his tale. Okay, its body structure was something like of a snake with that rattle tail and feet like lizard’s. It was nasty in looks and smelly. He was about to eat me. I shouted and then suddenly I see someone coming from its back and touched him on his back left feet. The moment he touched that thing he threw me to the ground. Okay Faine!! First depressed weird mob with no replies and tough looks wearing wired black dresses and then that gigantic worm cum lizard with spooky angry eyes and poisonous pale green fusible stuck out tongue and now this. I knew it could not be anything good, which will make me happy. However, hold no, Am not Alice and this was not at all wonderland sort of place, and we are not making any flop 3d movie here. So, I decided to approach this person. I tried touching him and he turned around his face and wait, this should not be happening with me. My EX BOY FRIEND, give me a break and thanks to my unconscious mind to see this dream and make it go even worst. I don’t even remember the last time I saw his sloppy face. Though most of the times I tend to forget the nightmares in which I have to bear his sleazy face and nonsensical acts. As it is whatever I am experiencing was worst so how can he be left out. He was laughing and looking as devil as a devil can ever be. We were just trying to talk, he was trying saying something which I couldn’t figure out. I was standing helplessly bearing his face then suddenly a girl came from his behind wearing a belly dancer’s costume trying to dance but couldn’t, may be because of her extra fat all over her body. I tried figuring out who is she, but I couldn’t because half of her face was covered. He removed that clothe from her face, and there you go to cherry on the top of my worst nightmare here enters his present girl friend. No offence to her beauty and smartness she was on the other is one cruel mean mistress. And I guess it was human nature (quite natural) that now I was feeling that facing even the world’s weirdest situation or world’s dangerous animal cannot make to give you that feeling which your Ex boyfriend and his present girl friend can give you by just standing in front of you. They were about to kiss when my maid came to wake me up. There were tears in my eyes. At that time for me, she was the most lovable personality who woke me up from my worst night mare. However, when I think about it, it was kind of natural of me watching something this sort of as in am a herpetophobic and it’s been approximately eight cool months, since I broke up with a guy. I was in a serious kind of relationship. However, as they say it’s 21st century and out here nothing is permanent and so is love. I am moved on now and took this whole span of time as a lesson. And pray not to see this kind of dream ever in my life ahead as it is now am more than happy for not to think of any of those which I saw last night.

Lessons to Failure

Dear Lord, are you trying to tell me something?
For..

Failure does not mean I'm a failure;
It means I have not yet succeeded.

Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing;
It means I have learned something.

Failure does not mean I have been a fool;
It means I had enough faith to experiment with.

Failure does not mean I am disgraced;
It means I dared to try.

Failure does not mean I do not have it;
It means I have something to do but in a different way.

Failure does not mean I am inferior;
It means I am not perfect.

Failure does not mean I have wasted my life;
It means I have a chance to start all over.

Failure does not mean that I should give up;
It means I should try harder.

Failure does not mean that I can never make it;
It means that I need more practice.

Failure does not mean that I am bad in that;
It means I need to change my ways of doing.